Working through some fears...

*disclaimer* I originally titled this "Five Minute Friday: Ebola" but this is not an actual Five Minute Friday prompt. I haven't seen a Five Minute Friday prompt in a while and haven't done one in even longer but I felt I needed to write today so, after recess, I had the kids sit down with me and write on Ebola because I feel like we all need to process our thoughts a bit. Here are a few of mine that I scribbled out on paper in "a bit" more than 5 minutes and then added to a bit when I got on the computer. The title changed to "Some Ebola thoughts" but that isn't even true because I have absolutely no clue what it is to live in an Ebola outbreak. I feel it is disrespectful to those in the front lines of this outbreak, especially after reading this post, to even have the word Ebola in the title because I truly have no idea what they are facing every second of every day. God has used living on this side of the ocean at this time to help me address some of my fears though so the new title is "Working through some fears..." I feel that is a more accurate representation of what this post is about.

Ebola

Oh, God, help. So many thoughts flood my mind when I think of Ebola, an idea that has never been far from my mind or my prayers since I first heard the (then unknown to me) word back in March.

Fear.

Death.

Need.

Pain.

Isolation.

Tyvek.  

Heat.

Sweat.

Danger.

Protection.

God's glory.

On that day in July when Kent was diagnosed I was with the kids at my brother's house and my first word was, "NO!"

"Why does he have to die after he has been there helping so many people?"

"Why does my dear friend Amber have to become a widow so young?"

"What will those precious blondies do without their daddy?"

"Is Africa really still the white man's graveyard?"

I prayed that God would be glorified. I had no idea how He would do it but I knew that He would - either by Kent dying or somehow miraculously defying the odds and surviving - God would somehow get the glory.

In those first days after his diagnosis I  thought of those missionaries who were killed in Ecuador and the countless people who have become missionaries as a result of hearing their story. God was and has been glorified in that tragedy. I'm thankful that God chose to heal Kent and get the glory that way and still use his story this time!

The need is great in West Africa. Because of Glenn's contract with his residency program it wasn't even an option for us to go to Africa to help with the Ebola crisis but now there are Ebola patients and contacts of infected people in the US. At some point, being that we are in DFW, it is possible there might be Ebola patients at his hospital in the future. What are the protocols at his hospital? Will he be caring for said patients? I don't know the answers to these questions and so many others. The protocols are evolving even as I write this.

Even if Glenn doesn't come into contact with Ebola patients somewhere in the world during this current outbreak of Ebola he is a doctor and, as such, it is his right and responsibility to care for those in need which does put him in dangerous situations at times and will do so in the future, especially since we desire to work overseas. It is not necessarily a safe career choice but it is what God has called us to and our safety is not necessarily His first priority.

Just as living here in Texas/ our house has been molding me and helping me pre-deal with issues that will be much bigger when I am living in a different culture, different climate, surrounded by people who speak a different language, etc., having these fears surface has been good for me. 

Do I have fear? Yes.

Can I trust that God is in control? Yes.

I've had a chance to try to work through my fears again and deal with the "what if?" question of losing my husband. I've come to the conclusion that, since my primary purpose here on earth is to glorify God, if He knows that the best way for me to bring Him glory is to have Glenn taken from me or some have some other dread ordeal happen then I accept His will for me and think that it is best. He is good and He does good.

We have two new favorite albums around here that play quite frequently that are having an impact on my thinking, and two songs in particular.

1. Send Me Out - the title cut on Gilbert Hovsepian's first album in English - it's great!

This song was written by the son of an Iranian pastor who was murdered for his faith. We got to hear him sing and picked up his CD at the VOM conference we went to in June.  I think knowing the story and it's source makes the songs even more powerful. We are called and we need to answer God's call, even when it is difficult. The need is great. This is a prayer of our heart:

Lord I plead with all my heart

Anoint my life set me apart

Deliver your power and liberty Lord send me

I cry out for the world to see

Your beauty and majesty

Bringing nations to their knees Lord send me

Send me out to the world I will go and make you known

Send me out Here I am I will go

Every nation every tribe

Every tongue from every side

Every soul needs Jesus Lord send me

Move and stretch your mighty hand

By your spirit sweep our land

Use me as your instrument Lord send me

Preach the good news to the meek

Be his voice, his hands and feet

Bring release to prisoners

By his power heal the sick.

2. Without You - for King and Country - one of my kids' favorite songs from one of their favorite artists - Caleb pre-ordered their new album with his birthday money because he loves them so much and it has been playing in our house almost contantly.

When I first heard this song I thought of Amber and how she must have felt as Kent was in the battle with Ebola and how not only were his "strong arms too weak to hold her" he couldn't hold her and she couldn't "dance a little" with him because he was contagious. The joy at seeing them together holding hands on the news will never, ever grow old for me.

Lately, as I have heard it I have been selfishly thinking of myself. Hearing this album over and over it's been stuck in my head and I thought it said, "I don't want to live without you. I'm not willing to live without you." I've battled with that because Glenn is not mine forever. He is just on temporary loan to me. We aren't promised tomorrow. If it is God's will I need to be willing to live without him because that may be part of God's plan for His glory as it was for the families of Martin Burnham, those missionaries in Ecuador, so many others throughout history and so many over this past several months on the other side of the world.

When I actually looked up the words I was comforted because they actually say, "I don't want to live without you. I'm not ready to live without you." That, my friends, is true. 

I don't know that anyone is truly ready to live without their spouse but I know that, if it is God's plan He will be with me and He will give me the grace I need in that trial to behave as His child and make that trial a blessing, teaching me lessons He wants me to learn. He is good and does good, even if, at the moment, it looks awful. I need to keep my eyes on Him and not borrow tomorrow's trouble that may or may not come tomorrow. There is a 50/50 chance I'll go first.

When Glenn gets off tonight he doesn't have to go back in for a week - hurray for PTO! We are planning on getting away for a bit as a family and I'm looking forward to it. We'll enjoy our God, each other, God's creation, time in prayer, and our time together because we aren't promised tomorrow we need to be faithful today with the time we do have.

So let's dance a little

Laugh a little

And hope a little more
Cause I don't want to live without you, without you. 

And this good advice posted on my fridge from a great book based on The Great Book is what I'm practicing:

To quote a friend of mine: "The name of Jesus is greater than Ebola." 
I can trust Him. 
I do not need to live in fear.

Fiery Trials

This week the passage for the Hello Mornings Challenge Kept Bible study is 1 Peter 4:12-19. I loved Katie and Lara's intro to this week's passage: 

Most people don't feel like suffering. At least I don't feel like suffering. And I think it was pretty clear that Jesus didn't feel like suffering since He anguished in that garden before swallowing God's cup of wrath. But suffering rids us of self. When we reach the point of desperate dependence upon God, we step onto very holy ground. Precious ground. This week Peter again highlight's Jesus example to us regarding suffering - a humbling read.

Monday is "Initial Read" day and here are some of my thoughts...

It starts in v12 with "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you." Why am I always surprised?? I know my God. Jesus promises trials: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33. It is not something strange happening. He is the one who gives us peace in our trials. He allows trials to test us, to prove us, to make us more like Him, to help us realize that we can not do it on our own. We need Him.

Verse 13 goes on to say, "but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation." I, though I know it was not Peter was referring to, immediately thought of Luke 9:58 "Jesus replied, 'Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.'" In some small way I get to share in the sufferings of Christ this month on our trip and in the spring, just like we have in other "homeless" phases of our lives. Jesus didn't even have a mini-van to call home like we have in the past and, Lord willing, will. I can have joy because my eyes are on Him, not on my circumstances. As as result - God gets the glory which gives me even more reason to rejoice.

There's a lot of great stuff in v14-18. Verses 17-18 really stood out to me in light of the upcoming election:  "For it is time for judgment to begin with the household of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God?" I have heard a lot of pointing of fingers from people of the church lately but not much personal repentance. We need to repent, remembering that we will be judged, and remember in our every interaction with others, especially those who do not yet "obey the gospel of God" that they will be judged as well and live in a fear of what becomes of unbelievers that prompts action.

Verse 19 says that if we suffer because we are doing what God wants us to do we are to trust God, our faithful Creator, and continue to do right. I can trust God because I know Him and I know that His plan in my trials is to purify me, make me more like Him and make me rely on Him. I want to continue to do right. When things go "wrong" it is so easy to act in a sinful way - yell at the kids, hide, be grouchy, grumble and complain. I want to "continue to do right." I loved Piper's thoughts on this: 

When you have a good theology, a great trust in God and overflowing joy even in suffering, the obstacles to loving others and the incentives for abusing others are gone. People who kill and steal and trouble and annoy others are people who have not known God in his greatness, trusted him like a child and found in him joyful fulfillment. So they try to satisfy the frustrations of their life by doing wrong. But those who know and trust and delight in God are free from the slavery of sin and their joy in God overflows in patience and love. They do what is right from the heart.

 Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. 
Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. 
This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.  
So if you find life difficult because you’re doing what God said, take it in stride. 
Trust him. He knows what he’s doing, and he’ll keep on doing it. 

I Peter 4:12-13,19 The Message 

And, of course, as in every trial, God brings back to mind that quote...

In time of trouble, say, "First, he brought me here. It is by his will I am in this strait place; in that I will rest." Next, "He will keep me here in his love, and give me grace in this trial to behave as his child." Then say, "He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me lessons he intends me to learn, and working in me the grace he means to bestow." And last, say, "In his good time he can bring me out again. How and when, he knows." Therefore, say, "I am here (1) by God's appointment, (2) in his keeping, (3) under his training, (4) for his time." ~Andrew Murray.

 I'm sure God is going to show me more great truths through this passage this week and I am looking forward to it.

Dad got it right

When I was growing up I would often get frustrated with my dad. When we would go to church or be out somewhere and people would ask my dad how he was doing his response was usually, "Almost excellent" with a big grin on his face. In my head I would get so mad at him thinking, "That is not true. You are not doing well. Why are you lying to these people??" My dad was a non-compliant diabetic that was always suffering with some kind of physical ailment (like crazy blood sugars, huge ulcers on his feet, amputated toes, etc) and I felt that by saying "almost excellent" he was trying to deceive people.

Today I read an email that made me realize that he just had a different perspective of reality than I did. The email talked about 3 actions to help you change your attitude:
1. Shift your focus
2. Change your posture
3. Watch your language

Dad's focus wasn't on the fact that he was sick or hurting. He was surrounded by people which is where he loved to be and his focus was on the moment, not on his struggles. He had a huge smile on his face and he was using words that made his reality true. He's been gone for nearly 4 years but I am so thankful for the lesson that he taught me by example today.

During DEAR time today I re-read another chapter from Calm My Anxious Heart. (note: I just noticed when I put that link in that it is only $5 right now at CBD. If you don't own it BUY IT!) I'm reading it on my kindle app this time (it was free a while back) though the actual book version is one of the few books that didn't get packed when we packed all of our books because it is one that I have always had out and near since I first read it with my beloved Tuesday morning Bible Study back in 2007 at the Waterloo Rec. It is a book that I return to time and time again because I constantly need the reminders that are underlined all over it. I am reading it again because I need it again. I need to be reminded that God is "the Blessed Controller of all things" and to keep my focus on Him. Today as I re-read chapter 2 I was reminded once again that "Our thought life - not our circumstances - determines whether we are content." Seems like a theme that God is trying to teach me today.

And "How does God enable us to be content? He infuses contentment into us through His Word. [another theme He seems to be impressing on me.] As it seeps into our minds, it transforms us. Just as a cup of tea gets stronger when we give it time to steep, so we become more content when we spend time in God's Word and allow it to seep into our lives, transforming us to be like Him."

This week I have been reading Psalm 27 in my Psalm study. David has such confidence in God. He doesn't need to fear because God is his light, his salvation, his defense. He chooses to seek and praise God though his enemies abound. He chooses to wait on God. I love verses 13-14 "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord."  After reading them I wrote out a prayer: "Lord, this reminds me of One Thousand Gifts. It is so easy for me to give over to despair when my eyes are on my circumstances but You long for me to open my eyes to the blessings that You give that surround me day after day after day. Moment by moment blessings. Give thanks. You have made so evident Your goodness in 'the land of the living.' How much more will You in the real life hereafter. As I long for that day may I be constantly aware of Your blessings today!" Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord.

Lord, thank You for the lessons that you are teaching me. I am sorry that I am so forgetful and must be taught again and again and again. Thank You for Your patience with me. Thank You for the example that You gave me in my parents. They both had so many struggles, physical and otherwise, but they rarely let them affect their attitude. Please help me to spend time steeping in Your Word so that I can shift my focus, change my posture and use language that will bring glory to You.

Two Horse Stories

I want to share two stories. The first is from a book that I have been reading lately. You may recognize the people in the second one.

First, “Let me tell you an old Portuguese story.

“There was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all for the beautiful white horse he owned. Even the king coveted his treasure. People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. 'This horse is not a horse to me,' he would tell them. 'It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend?' The man was poor and the temptation was great, but he never sold the horse.

“One morning the horse was missing from the stable. All the village came to see the old man. 'You old fool,' the scoffed. 'We old you that someone would steal your horse. You are so poor, how could you ever hope to protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. Now the horse is gone, and you've been cursed with misfortune.'

“The old man responded, 'Don't speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know, the rest is judgement. How can you know if I've been cursed or not? How can you judge?'

“The people contested, 'Don't make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed to know what's happened here. The fact that your horse is gone is a curse.'

“The old man spoke again, “All I know is that the stable is empty and the horse is gone. The rest I don't know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can't say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?'

“The people of the village laughed. They ahd always thought the man to be a fool; if he wasn't, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. Instead, he was a poor woodcutter, living hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.

“After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn't been stolen, he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke, 'Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.'

“The man responded, 'Again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses with him, but don't judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? If you read only one page, how can you judge the whole the whole book? All you have is a fragment! Don't say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don't know.'

“'Maybe the old man is right,' they said. But down deep they believed he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned with one horse. With a little bit of work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.

“The old man has a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgements.

“'You were right,' they said. 'The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken both his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever.'

“The old man spoke again, 'Don't go so far in your judgements. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment of the whole.'

“A few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded because he was injured. The enemy was strong and the people feared they were never see their sons again. Once again, they gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. 'You were right, old man,' they wept. 'God knows you were right. This proves it. Your son's accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever.'

“The old man spoke again, 'Why do you always draw conclusions? No one is wise enough to know if it is a blessing or a curse. Only God knows.'

“The old woodcutter was content with what he knew and not disturbed by what he couldn't understand.”

And now for my other story...

There once was a boy and a girl who met at a Christian college in Tennessee. They were young but they decided to get married that summer. Neither of them were finished with their education. Was it a blessing or a curse? We know only a fragment.

Just a few short months after they were married they discovered that they were expecting their first child. Was it a blessing or a curse? We know only a fragment.

The college that they were attending lost it's regional accreditation and it was discovered that the teachers that graduated the year that the girl did would be the first to graduate without state certification to teach. Was it a blessing or a curse? We know only a fragment.

Their firstborn, a son, came and was adored by all. The grandparents on both sides loved him, especially since he was the first for all of them. Was it a blessing or a curse? We know only a fragment.

The boy and his wife along with their son soon moved to a small house in a nicer part of the city that they lived in. Was it a blessing or a curse? We know only a fragment.

There were complications with a heart catheterization that the girl's mother had. As a result the girl, along with her husband and small son, moved to New York to help out while her mother spent 3 months in the hospital and her last 18 months in a nursing home unable to use her arms or legs and with very limited speech. Was it a blessing or a curse? We know only a fragment.

The mother passed away and the boy needed to finish his education but few colleges would accept credits from an unaccredited college. One college that would offered a scholarship to make it cheaper than another college that would so the boy took his wife and two children and one on the way to that college in rural New York. Was it a blessing or a curse? We know only a fragment.

The boy graduated from college taking nearly all of his science classes in two years and applied to medical school. He was not accepted to any of the schools that he applied to so he moved with his wife and four children to his wife's hometown where tenants had just moved out of an apartment owned by her grandparents in the middle of the night. Was it a blessing or a curse? We know only a fragment.

The boy substitute taught while he re-studied for his MCAT exam. After getting his improved score the boy and girl decided that he should re-apply to American medical schools. Was it a blessing or a curse? We know only a fragment.

Unable to find a job in the town where they were living they family of six moved to a city an hour away where the boy had gotten a job at a hospital. He got two interviews at medical schools and was put on waiting lists at both places. Ultimately rejection letters came from both schools. Was it a blessing or a curse? We know only a fragment.

After seeking direction from God and discovering that his application to the medical school in the Caribbean was lost they decided that the boy should re-apply to American schools and they sent out 16 applications. The boy got but one interview that time but soon thereafter got news that he was accepted at that school. Was it a blessing or a curse? We know only a fragment.

The family packed to move to the new city two hours away. They moved into a sublet near campus assuming that they would be able to find more permanent housing during the two months that they were there. Was it a blessing or a curse? We know only a fragment.

The boy and girl were pre-approved to buy a home and started to look for one to get the $8000 tax credit but time had run out on their sublet. Was it a blessing or a curse? We know only a fragment.

The young family packed their belongings and put them into storage and lived out of their van at the homes of friends for 2 ½ months while making offers on 5 different houses that fell through and then finally deciding to rent. Was it a blessing or a curse? We know only a fragment.

They finally moved into an apartment that exceeded their expectations both in the low price and amenities with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, plenty of living space and free laundry. Was it a blessing or a curse? We know only a fragment.

The family hoped that they would be able to stay in that apartment for all of their time in that city but the landlord informed them that he had come into some money and was going to gut the place and move back into it with his family and that they needed to be out by the end of September at the latest. Was it a blessing or a curse? We know only a fragment.

There are so many chapters in the story that were skipped over and the next part of the story is unknown but I am glad that I know Who does. Epictetus once said, “I am always content with that which happens, for I think that which God chooses is better than what I choose.”

Glenn prefaced telling me the news that we have to move again this summer with “We have another horse situation.” If you have known me long or followed my blog you know how much I don't like moving and that we are in our 15^th place in 10 years. (We have decided to ignore our homeless time of last fall in our count because we really don't know how to count it.) I walked myself over to my fridge and read Ella Spee's Perscription for Contentment:

* Never allow yourself to complain about anything – not even the weather [or having to move again]

* Never picture yourself in any other circumstance or someplace else

* Never compare your lot with another's.

* Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise

* Never dwell on tomorrow – remember that tomorrow is God's not ours.

And then I read my favorite quote by Andrew Murray: “In time of trouble, say, 'First, He brought me here. It is by His will I am in this strait place; in that I will rest.' Next, 'He will keep me here in His love, and give me grace in this trial to behave as His child.' Then say, 'He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me lessons He intends me to learn, and working in me the grace He means to bestow.' And last, say, 'In His good time He can bring me out again. How and when He knows.' Therefore, say, 'I am here (1) by God's appointment, (2) in His keeping, (3) under His training, (4) for his time.”

I guess I am glad I am going through Linda Dillow's Calm My Anxious Heart again. Contentment is still something that I am striving after and have not completely attained. I got the horse story and the above quotes all from that book and I would highly recommend it! Some more thoughts on contentment from that book:

“Our thought life, not our circumstances determines whether we are content.”

“Are you going to judge God by the circumstances you don't understand or judge the circumstances in light of the character of God?”

“If we are going to find contentment in the midst of trial and uncertainty we must accept our situation as being purposely allowed into our lives by a personal and loving God.”

And lastly this prayer from Betty Scott Stam, martyred missionary to China, “Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee to be Thine forever. Fill me and sela me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt, send me where Thou wilt, work out They whole will in my life at any cost.” In the front of my Bible I signed my name under that on 1/27/08.

I just jumped back to the end of Habakkuk where my list of “thoughs” are (homework for the “Trusting God with the whys” chapter for this week). I made a list back in April of 2007 when I first read the book and then again last April. Two of the “thoughs” have been answered – God got Glenn into medical school and He provided a place for us to live 6/1/09. Most of them have not and may never be. I laughed as I looked at the last “though” I wrote last April “Though we may move many times in med school.” I had no idea what this past year would entail but my God is faithful and He faithfully provided just what we needed when we needed it. It is a journey of faith He has us on. Why it involves packing and unpacking so much I really don't know but I know that I can trust Him and that He is going to provide another place for us to live and He is going to teach us more in the days, weeks, months, and years to come Lord willing should the Lord tarry. I guess I will close with this “Though..... Yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds' feet, and makes me walk on my high places.” Hab. 3:17-19.

My Favorite Quote

This is my favorite quote. It is on my fridge and I read it at least once a day. I still don't have it memorized yet though. I got it from a great book by Linda Dillow called Calm My Anxious Heart. I highly recommend this book!

In time of trouble, say, "First, he brought me here. It is by his will I am in this strait place; in that I will rest." Next, "He will keep me here in his love, and give me grace in this trial to behave as his child." Then say, "He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me lessons he intends me to learn, and working in me the grace he means to bestow." And last, say, "In his good time he can bring me out again. How and when, he knows." Therefore, say, "I am here (1) by God's appointment, (2) in his keeping, (3) under his training, (4) for his time." ~Andrew Murray.

Caleb

I just want to brag on Caleb for a little bit. I am SO proud of him. He has really started reading well! Today during quiet time he asked if he could take his Bible to bed and work on his memory verse for Sunday School. We have been going to Fingerlakes Christian Fellowship for about 5 months and I just learned that he is supposed to bring back his "homework" for Sunday School and memorize his verse, I am not with it. So anyway, Caleb was in his room for about 10 minutes when he came back out with a huge grin on his face and told us he knew his new verse and quoted for us Colossians 3:17 "In whatsoever ye do in word or deed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus." He had read his verse and memorized it himself. After quiet time we sat with his Sunday School homework and he read me the story about Jesus healing a blind man. We talked about loyalty (had to look it up in the dictionary) and how we can be loyal to God. I am so excited that Caleb is able to read his Bible. He can look up verses in his Bible too because he just memorized the books of the New Testament for AWANA. He thought of a verse that he had memorized earlier this year in AWANA and ran to get his book to find out where the verse was found. He is almost done with his first book and doing well. We went through and looked at all he had learned this year. How excited to get so much of God's Word in his heart at such a young age. He is my firstborn son, the one that the Bible tells me should be given to the Lord. His ambition right now is to be a pastor. What a great calling. I pray that he is always excited about learning Bible verses and knowing more about God.

This morning as we started school, pretty late unfortunately after staying up so late at the Superbowl party that we went to last night, Glenn was reading from More Little Visits With God and it was about Charles Spurgeon's mother paying him to kill rats and to memorize hymns. We started talking about what hymns were and I got a hymn book and we looked at it and decided to work on memorizing one hymn a week. This weeks is A Mighty Fortress is Our God. So we discussed Martin Luther and read through the hymn and had to look up several words in the dictionary like fortress and bulwark. We talked about how through Jesus we have victory over Satan and don't have to fear. It was great. As we sang it together, having just discussed the hymn, I was crying over the truth in it. I am so thankful that the Lord of Hosts is in the battle and that I don't have to strive in my own strength. I am excited about learning hymns with the kids and strengthening their faith in God (and my own) through the words.
God is really working on renewing my mind right now, about homeschooling and lots of other things. He is using His Word, Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow (from my Tuesday morning Bible Study), Sunday School, Church, stuff I hear on FLN, a homeschooling blog that my 'mother in love' recently introduced me to, etc. I want to do what He wants me to do. I know that He has a purpose for my life and I know that I have not been going about it the right way lately. This coming week in Bible study we are supposed to work on a life purpose statement and I am so excited because I can see how God has been preparing me in the last few weeks to do just that. Our God is so faithful and amazing. I am so thankful that I am a child of the King! Pastor was talking yesterday about how thankful we should be for the Word of God and what advantages we have over OT saints, Christians in the 1st century, even Christians of 100 years ago or Christians that live in other countries. Am I taking advantage of the advantages we have been given? I know I have not been but I would like to do so and am praying that God will reveal through His Word and that I would be obedient.
Anyway, enough blabbing. I am just so excited to see what God is doing in us.