Hard Lessons

It's been a rough day at Maas Academy. One of my students in particular is having a difficult day and has been screaming at me, taking it out on siblings, and hurting that student's own body. My main thought this morning was, "I hope I don't die soon because Glenn will need to re-marry and I would hate to have any other woman ever treated the way that I have been treated today."

I have been praying a lot and trying to respond with grace and love and not react sinfully as I am sinned against but it has not been easy.

Which brings me to the other thought that I have been pondering today: "How do I make God feel? How often do I treat Him like I've been treated today? How does He respond?"

I fail, I am disappointed, I get frustrated, I want to give up often and, often, I get angry. I flail. I guess, to my sorrow, my beloved student in question has learned from my example.

Lord, do You often wonder about me, Your student:
- Why won't Sonja listen to me?
- I love her so much and just want to help her.
- I am trying to help her, why won't she accept My help?
- How can I passify her anger?
- How can I help her in a way that will be received?
- Why isn't she more teachable?
- Haven't we gone over this many, many times before?
- Will I ever get through to her?
- When will she ever learn from her mistakes?
- Should I just give up on her?
Dear Teacher, I am sorry for not always being a receptive student in the lessons that You have for me. Thank You, Lord, that You don't give up on me. Thank You for Your mercy and Your grace. Please give me wisdom. Help me to keep my eyes on You and learn from You and Your example how to teach these students that You have entrusted to me. I love You and I long to represent You well in our home.