Friday, August 15, 2014

Happy 15 Years Glenn: a walk down memory lane of what led to that day

16 years ago today I was finishing up my summer temp job working at a factory 20 minutes from home making some kind of car parts on an assembly line. I worked 2nd shift so I usually got home just before midnight. Most nights as I got out of the car I was astounded at the beauty in the sky and many a night the song on my heart was one by Nouveaux from their album "And This Is How I Feel"
Maybe Tomorrow
The heavens paint a silent symphony
As Orion shines for me
Are you there feeling the same as I
Whispering love songs to the lonely sky

And though I don't know where you are
I know you must be there

So for now I'll lay me down to sleep
and dream and maybe tomorrow

I'll kiss the air that covers you -
I'll watch the moonlight dance in your eyes
I'll hold you safely in my arms -
Maybe tomorrow you'll be mine

I said a prayer for you today
May troubles be far away
And I'll be here on bended knee
Until the day you say you'll marry me

And though I don't know who you are
I know you're beautiful
So for now I'll lay me down to sleep
and dream and maybe tomorrow

I'll kiss the air that covers you -
I'll watch the moonlight dance in your eyes
I'll hold you safely in my arms -
Maybe tomorrow you'll be mine

I'll be waiting patiently - promise you will wait for me
No one else to hold on to - until I'm holding you

I'll kiss the air that covers you -
I'll watch the moonlight dance in your eyes
I'll hold you safely in my arms -
Maybe tomorrow

I'll love you more than life itself -
I'll watch the moonlight dance in your eyes
I'll hold you safely in my arms -
Maybe tomorrow
I'd never had a boyfriend and had no desire to date around as I'd seen the pain that caused in friends' lives. I was sure I'd never get married (at the "old maid" age of 20), so I always envisioned myself being a single missionary lady teaching MKs or native kids overseas somewhere but I spent many a night that summer praying for a "maybe tomorrow" guy that might be out there somewhere because of that song.

When I returned to Tennessee Temple that fall I had a meeting with my adviser and she informed me that I would be able to graduate on time in 2000 despite the fact that TTU was my third post secondary school. I guess that God had orchestrated just about all of the classes from my previous schools to count for something toward my degree. I was excited because that meant less time, less money spent on college and my dreams of living and teaching overseas were so close! The meeting also confirmed in my mind the fact that I would never get married - there was just no way in the only 2 years left of school to meet and marry anyone and everyone knows there are way more single women on the mission field than men and I am definitely not worthy to be one of the married ones and it's totally not likely I'll get married anyway, especially since no guy had even ever liked me before.

I think God has a sense of humor. I spent some time yesterday looking through my prayer journal from the fall of 1998. It was an exciting beginning of the semester. God was doing a work on our campus. Lives were being changed. God was at work in my heart. Looking at my prayer journal I guess that "doing thank yous" wasn't something we started when we got married. This whole book is full of prayers of thanksgiving for sunshine, for reunion with my dear Yuko, for my job at the Happy Corner, for sermons, for Tapestry, for opportunities to share Christ and so much more including tons of names of people I was able to spend time with.

A new name shows up on September 18 that had never been written before. An excerpt from that day's journal says: "Thank You that I could go to Asian Fellowship tonight. Thank You for the people I could meet! Thank You for Bridgette, James, Sean & Glenn."

What my prayer journal doesn't say but I clearly remember, September 18, just 3 weeks after my meeting "confirming I'd be single forever," an outgoing young gentleman sat next to me ("some weird girl") in chapel because he wanted to sit with the friends I was sitting with and I was "in the way." After chapel he held the door for me two different times on the way to class, not because it was me but because his mother had taught him to hold doors for ladies (thanks dear Mom-in-love). Later that afternoon he held the door for me again coming out of the post office and I was so annoyed that he kept showing up everywhere at that point I stuck out my hand and introduced myself. Though he was a new freshman he was well known on our small campus. I knew who he was and he knew most of my friends' names but we'd never met. On our short walk together down the sidewalk I think I learned he was from Wyoming but I don't remember what else. [He laughed when I read this to him. He hadn't lived in WY for 5 years at that point. He still claims WY though we lived in NY most recently and nearly as long as he lived in WY growing up.]

I was excited to go to Asian Fellowship that night. My roommate, Yuko, had gone every month the previous spring when we lived together and always seemed to have such a great time. God was turning my heart to Asia and I was excited to get to go and eat Asian food and hang out with Asians and others interested in being missionaries in Asia. I caught a ride there with my friend James and who do you think was in the back seat next to me? Glenn. Again. Really?? Why does he keep showing up?

I don't remember what happened that night but in my prayer journal I did say, "Thank You for the fun time watching Veggie Tales tonight." so I can only imagine we spent at least part of the night in the Holritz's basement playing with the kids. Glenn must have really caught my attention because by Monday the final line in my journal says "Lord, please help me to be able to keep my focus on You and not a boy or anything else - I want to glorify You in my life!" On Tuesday I see "Give me wisdom about Glenn." [He tells me he was definitely not thinking about me at that point.]

The following Saturday was the SMF (Student Mission Fellowship) picnic. On our way there in the van I think one of the first things that made Glenn actually notice me was something I said. When seeing round bales of hay on the side of the road, I mentioned that they were going to be outlawed in New York soon. Glenn, growing up on ranches in the West and already holding a low opinion of New York, was a bit appalled until I told him the reason was that the cows were complaining they couldn't get a square meal (thanks for that classic, Dad! It's still one of our favorites). [Note: He tells me that the first time he took notice of me was actually when I was the one who got a 100 in Dr Ray's first Math Concepts test, not him because he'd made a couple of careless mistakes. Not sure when that was.] That day was spent having fun with friends by the lake and chatting with Glenn on the way home. That evening we both ended up at the walking bridge where many students would gather on Saturday nights to hang out, play their guitars, sing praise songs, and chat with people about Jesus. He caught my attention again when he helped take care of a sick friend of mine that night.

Reading through it, I'm glad I have my prayer journal from those early days but what I wouldn't give to read the emails that passed between us. We shared our hearts and our vision for how we thought God wanted to use us. It was amazing to each of us how, as we read the other's emails, it was almost exactly what we would have written ourselves, our callings were so similar.

God was at work in my heart and my life. Wednesdays during my TTU days were always a challenge to me. It seemed to me that God told Dr Bouler what I was struggling with and made him preach on that particular thing on Wednesday nights. The Holy Spirit always convicted me on Wednesdays. The last day of September was a Wednesday and Dr Bouler preached on "Growing Through Waiting." On that night I thanked God for how I had grown spiritually since starting to like Glenn. I wanted so much to focus on and to please God and to want what He wanted not to please myself and what I wanted. I told God, "I had totally given up all hope that a guy who wanted to serve You and love You and know You and go to the [the 1040 window] existed anywhere. I'm shocked at how much Glenn is exactly what I need. Oh Lord, I don't know if he's the one or if You have someone else for me and for him - I trust You! I know that You will take care of me! Lord, please bless our friendship and help it to always be focused on You. Lord, please help me to cease striving and trust You. Oh Lord, while I am waiting on You please help my life to be characterized by faith, prayer, growth & resting in You. Lord, please help my soul to wait in silence for You only for my hope is from You. You only are my rock and my salvation, my stronghold and I will not be shaken. On You my salvation and glory rest, the rock of my strength - my refuge is in You. I will trust in You at ALL times and pour out my heart before You. Oh Lord, I want to be more like You and I want You to be glorified in and through my life - please give me a greater hunger & thirst for You!"

I laughed so many times reading through my prayer journal yesterday. Boy, was I really struggling. I really liked Glenn but didn't know what he thought of me. I was struggling with not knowing if being with Glenn was part of God's plan or not. I was struggling with being distracted and not completely focused on God. Many books and magazines being talked about at that time in the Christian community encouraged "true love waits" and didn't really encourage dating unless it was the person you were going to marry and I think I was very worried about making the wrong choice and doing it wrong so I think I wavered between hiding from Glenn and spending lots of time with him during that time. (One of my friends called it chasing him until he caught me.) I was also clearly annoyed by people asking me about Glenn and implying there was something more than a friendship going on between us.

At the beginning of November I see he confirmed that he did indeed like me (Did I really doubt that?) but I told God "I don't want a relationship with him unless it is Your will! Please guide and direct!" In the middle of the month my Dad, Uncle Paul, and my grandparents stopped in Chattanooga in the RV on a business trip. They took us out to eat and it seemed they approved of Glenn.

We didn't officially start dating until December 11 (I made him ask my dad to date me. I'd read it somewhere and thought it was what what I should do. Both Glenn and Dad thought it was weird but chatted on the phone about it anyway.). Our first official date was the next day to India Mahal with Ben, Kumiko and Naomi. (Third parties were required at our school if you were under a certain age which we were.)

During Christmas break we met up at a Restricted Access Nations conference in Cleveland then he came back to Waterloo with me for the rest of break to meet my family. It was fun watching him interact with my cousins' kids and introducing him around.

He got permission to ask me to marry him when my parents met up in Chattanooga for Valentine's weekend in the middle of a several week business trip my dad was on with my grandparents (Glenn blogged about that here.) We were engaged February 24 on a bench at the corner of Orchard Knob and Vance Ave where he had first told me he loved me.

I didn't meet Glenn's parents until a few weeks after we were engaged at the beginning of spring break when they came to pick up Glenn. We chatted for a few minutes in the Welcome Center just before I was leaving for Tapestry's mission trip to Hungary, Slovakia and Austria. They must have really trusted Glenn (probably they were trusting God more) to let their 18 year old son get engaged to a random girl they'd never met. [I need to remember this as one or more of our four may do this to us in the not too distant future.]

Spring semester ended and, after finals, Yuko let us borrow her car (while she returned to Japan for the summer- thanks Yuko!) to drive to Glenn's parents' place in Missouri where I got to meet the rest of his family and go to his sister's college graduation. We then drove to New York where he went with me to the wedding of Aaron and Phoebe, one of my best friends, before he headed back down to MO to work for the summer in a car borrowed from my parents while we left Yuko's car in our driveway to await her drive back to Tennessee after our wedding.

That summer Glenn worked at Lamberts in Missouri and I worked at Zotos in New York and we emailed a lot (we treated Juno on dial up like instant messenger before there was such a thing) and talked on the phone when we could (There was a deal that summer 99 cents for the first 20 minutes. We took turns calling each other and we'd time ourselves then sometimes call back).

Finally, August came and Glenn came up for last minute wedding preparations the week before that wonderful date, August 14, 1999 when we became man and wife. Yes, in a lot of ways we were still kids at 19 and 21 and we had a lot of growing up to do but it has been so much fun growing up with Glenn (with quite a bit of pain thrown in for good measure).


It's 15 years later and we will soon be adults (AKA done with the formal education/ training parts of our lives) and I am excited to see where God takes us next. Looking back on the past 15 years the song that comes to mind is one that has been playing in my mind all week by Matt Redman called "Never Once."
Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful


Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say:

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful


Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone


Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Through every step of these last 15 years God has been SO faithful to us. I am so grateful for 15 years so far with my dear Glenn. I give God all the praise for us making it this far. I am so thankful that, in the future, no matter what comes our way, our faithful God will be there to walk with us.
After our 15 year anniversary date last night
Happy 15th anniversary, Glenn! Thanks for opening doors for me almost 16 years ago. My life has never been the same and I am so grateful for the grand adventure that our God has us on. It has not been as I expected it would be but 15 years, 4 kids, 7 vehicles, 18 homes, 2(+?) seasons without a place to call home, 15(?) dogs, 3 states, 8 years as the wife of a student, 13.5 months as the wife of a resident, countless miles driven on road trips, many fun adventures later I'm so glad to have had you as my partner through it all and thankful for God's grace that has brought us through it all - the good, the bad, and even the ugly. Thanks for a putting up with me these first 15 years. I pray that God will allow us many more years to love, learn, laugh, grow and serve together. I love you!

Note: Sorry this post is so long. I am very verbose. Also, sorry it is a day late - my dear resident husband got home early last night (at 4:30!!!) and we got to go out and celebrate our anniversary with dinner at an Indian Restaurant then dessert and a chance to chat about life at Central Market.