Five Minute Friday: Surrender

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Humperdinck: Surrender!
Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.
Humperdinck: I give you full marks for bravery. Don’t make yourself a fool.
Westley: Ah, but how will you capture us? We know the secrets of the fire swamp. We can live there quite happily for some time, so whenever you feel like dying, feel free to visit.
Humperdinck: I tell you once again, surrender!
Westley: It will not happen.
Humperdinck: For the last time, surrender!
Westley: Death first!!
Buttercup: Will you promise not to hurt him?Humperdinck: What was that?
Westley: What was that?
Buttercup: If we surrender and I return with you, will you promise not to hurt this man 
Humperdinck: May I live a thousand years and never hunt again.... I swear it will be done.*

I, too, am asked to surrender.

At times I too want to make deals, like Buttercup, with the One asking me to surrender, "If I do surrender, will you promise that no harm will come to us? Will I always have my husband? Will my children always walk with You?" and so on...

The One asking me to surrender makes no such promise not to allow harm to come to us but instead He gives better promises like "In this world you will have trouble but be of good cheer because I have overcome the world" and "when you pass through the waters, I will be with you" and "I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

And so I surrender. Not because I have confidence in myself, that I "know the secrets of the fire swamp," though I have been in the school of learning to be "content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want," but because I know the One who asks me to surrender. He is nothing like Prince Humperdink who has no intentions of keeping his promises. The One who asks me to surrender keeps His promises. I know that when I surrender all to Him whatever He allows to happen to us He will use for our good and His glory because He knows best.

He does not promise safety or ease but He does promise His presence, which is better by far. I know I can trust Him.

And so... I surrender.

* Quote from The Princess Bride by William Goldman.

Five Minute Friday: Collect

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When I saw the word "collect" earlier today I thought of all of the things that we collect around here: books, papers, legos, games, legos, nerf guns, socks, legos, pens, cameras, flip flops, legos, bikes, light sabers, legos... you get the idea. We have a lot of collections. In the upcoming months we need to purge a lot of collections.

As I wrote the subject for this blog though the first thing I thought of was collect calls. Kids don't know what those are any more. A few weeks ago I tried to explain to them what a collect call was but they didn't really get it. There was a day when everyone didn't have a cell phone and when you needed to call home you hit "0" and asked the operator if you could make a collect call.

I haven't made a collect call in years. When I made them they were always to home. That 315 number forever ingrained in my mind that connected me to my mom and dad no matter where I was. I don't know who has that dear old number now. If I tried to call that 315 number collect today they would not accept the charges from "Sonja." Oh, how I miss calling that 315 number. I didn't do it nearly often enough.

STOP

Five Minute Friday: Five

And for the real prompt for this week.... 5

Yesterday at our Thursday school we were reminded once again to sign up for a performance that a couple of the students from the school are performing in late in October. The tickets are only $5, the kids are friends of our kids, and I live the closest of anyone to the place where the performance is being held so I put down my name and contact information and the number 5.

When I had a free minute later in the day I texted Glenn asking what his schedule was going to be the day of the performance to make sure that he didn't randomly have the day off. He texted back, "Probably not. Clinic all day." I told him, "OK. I just put 5 anyway." Then he replied, "So you are saying we have met before?"

Yes. We've met before. I love the random days when we get to be 6 but, during residency, more often than not we are 5.

Five Minute Friday: Listen (Take 2)

We're finishing up week 4 of school for the year. School is going pretty well this year. There are still the sinful people reacting sinful when sinned against issues that come with living and learning with sinners but... overall things are going pretty well.

One of my favorite things that I've added to our school year this year is Friday one-on-ones with mom. They came out of a suggestion from a friend who meets with each of her kids on Fridays to talk over what their goals are for the next week.

I schedule appointments with them and they report to the back room and sit on the couch, eat a piece of chocolate, and tell me about what is going well, what isn't going to well, and what they would like to change. It has been such a privilege to just listen to them one-on-one with no interruptions and get a glimpse into their hearts.

The number of Friday afternoons I have left that to spend with these precious ones in my home is getting smaller and smaller and I'm so thankful for the encouragement to just sit with them and listen.

Five Minute Friday: Listen

Hannah, a few other teens from church, and I have started volunteering leading Kids' Praise (the opening 15 minutes of SS). This fall the kids in Sunday school at our church are studying 1 Peter for the months of September and October. I love the book of 1Peter and I have given the kids a "First Peter Challenge" to read or listen through 1 Peter every week for the whole two months. I told them if they read or listened to or had their parents read them one chapter of 1Peter every day Monday through Friday they would get to read through 1 Peter 8 or more times and it will help to get more out of what they are learning in Sunday School. The first week I had 2 participants, last week there were 10-15 (I'm rewarding them with candy...).

Since I gave the challenge I decided to take the challenge as well, even though we're in the OT in my class. I have loved listening to 1 Peter through the Bible app. It's a book I've always wanted to memorize and I'm starting to be able to quote more and more of it along with the reader.

I usually listen to sermons while I run so that I can do something I enjoy while I am doing something I have to do. I think that God wants me to work through 1Peter even more because something happened to my podcast app one day and it jumped me ahead a couple of weeks ago to the first sermon of a series on 1 Peter. I figured it was appropriate so I've been listening to it as I run and I've loved hearing about a proper response and perspective on suffering and the reminder that we are strangers here and need to live on mission because we are not home yet.

(This is actually last week's prompt but, on my run today,  I was thinking about how much I am loving listening to 1Peter and this series that I needed to write about it.)

Five Minute Friday: Path

On Sunday at the end of the service we sang the song, "I Surrender All." That song always makes me think of a young man from Nigeria who was a student with us in college. He told us he didn't ever sing that song (though it was often the song that closed the church services at that time) because he didn't want to lie.

We don't sing it often but I think of him whenever I do and I sing it as a prayer asking for help to surrender more.

Our path has had many detours along the way but all along the way there has been a call to surrender our goals, our plans, our timing, our independence, our self-reliance, our pride and so much more. It's not easy to surrender those things but He has been faithful and I'm so thankful that He continues to invite us to be a part of His story.

Five Minute Friday: Lift

There are some people in life that no matter how much time passes between visits you can spend time with them again and connect in a deep, meaningful way and walk away humbled and encouraged and lifted up. We are not good long distance people. If we don't live near you, you know this. Honestly, we're not great nearby people either, unfortunately.  

Last night we flew into Charlotte for an interview today. It was a great day and we met some really great people that we'd love to work with and follow each other's paths from near or far. It's funny how many of them we already had mutual friends with.

One of the unexpected blessings though was that the shuttle driver last night told us he actually lives in SC, just across the border which immediately made me think of friends who I know live in a border town somewhere and live and work on opposite sides of the border so I immediately jumped on Facebook to message them to see if they were indeed close by and if we could meet up. We were able to go out for coffee with them tonight and catch up on their lives. Though we've never lived close they are some of my favorite people because they have shared hard stuff they've gone through with us and shown us a glimpse into how He has used it to crush them and transform them. They are blatantly honest with their struggles and how hard Kingdom work is. Many of the things they have gone though I think would have destroyed me but they are still seeking Him and His place for them and they still know He is good. I love to talk to others like them who don't have it all figured out and to end our time lifting each other up to the One who knows. 

I don't know what the outcome of today's interview will be. I don't know what our next steps are. I don't know what is next for our friends but He knows and for that I am very thankful. 

A bit longer than 5 minutes... Thanks, friends. 

Five Minute Friday: Hidden

Since we've been in TX my blog has been pretty silent. There has been a lot that we have gone through. Many struggles I have had but they have been hidden. I used to use my blog as a way to walk through and think through my struggles but I've avoided it for several years now. I don't know if I'm afraid of what will be revealed to me by going deeper, too many distractions, or what it might be.

This morning after finishing my scripture writing I glanced back through my journal as I sat at our campsite's picnic table. It was humbling to remember some of my struggles and faith bolstering to know how He brought me through those struggles. I guess I have avoided evaluating what I'm going through openly but there have definitely still been seasons of seeking Him in struggles in that hidden place. It's just not as easy to navigate and search back through as on my blog.

When blog posts come up in my memories I'm always convicted that I should start writing again. So, I've decided to start blogging again on Fridays (or sometime shortly thereafter) with the Five Minute Friday prompts. Maybe it will prime the pump on my writing and I will resume blogging more regularly. Maybe not.

STOP

Until next week

Five Minute Friday: Focus

There are lots of distractions around here. From 4 kids to a dog to piles of stuff everywhere to never ending homeschool plans and teaching and questions and grading to this handy little device that I am writing this post on. It's time to eat again already? Squirrel. 

The idea of multi-tasking is a lie but I try. I try to get multiple things done at the same time but it doesn't work. 

The key to effectiveness is focus. I truly need to learn to focus on what is most important but it is so hard. 

"Martha, Martha... one thing is needful. Mary has chosen what is best and it will not be taken from her." Luke 10

Oh Lord, please help me to be more like Mary.

Working through some fears...

*disclaimer* I originally titled this "Five Minute Friday: Ebola" but this is not an actual Five Minute Friday prompt. I haven't seen a Five Minute Friday prompt in a while and haven't done one in even longer but I felt I needed to write today so, after recess, I had the kids sit down with me and write on Ebola because I feel like we all need to process our thoughts a bit. Here are a few of mine that I scribbled out on paper in "a bit" more than 5 minutes and then added to a bit when I got on the computer. The title changed to "Some Ebola thoughts" but that isn't even true because I have absolutely no clue what it is to live in an Ebola outbreak. I feel it is disrespectful to those in the front lines of this outbreak, especially after reading this post, to even have the word Ebola in the title because I truly have no idea what they are facing every second of every day. God has used living on this side of the ocean at this time to help me address some of my fears though so the new title is "Working through some fears..." I feel that is a more accurate representation of what this post is about.

Ebola

Oh, God, help. So many thoughts flood my mind when I think of Ebola, an idea that has never been far from my mind or my prayers since I first heard the (then unknown to me) word back in March.

Fear.

Death.

Need.

Pain.

Isolation.

Tyvek.  

Heat.

Sweat.

Danger.

Protection.

God's glory.

On that day in July when Kent was diagnosed I was with the kids at my brother's house and my first word was, "NO!"

"Why does he have to die after he has been there helping so many people?"

"Why does my dear friend Amber have to become a widow so young?"

"What will those precious blondies do without their daddy?"

"Is Africa really still the white man's graveyard?"

I prayed that God would be glorified. I had no idea how He would do it but I knew that He would - either by Kent dying or somehow miraculously defying the odds and surviving - God would somehow get the glory.

In those first days after his diagnosis I  thought of those missionaries who were killed in Ecuador and the countless people who have become missionaries as a result of hearing their story. God was and has been glorified in that tragedy. I'm thankful that God chose to heal Kent and get the glory that way and still use his story this time!

The need is great in West Africa. Because of Glenn's contract with his residency program it wasn't even an option for us to go to Africa to help with the Ebola crisis but now there are Ebola patients and contacts of infected people in the US. At some point, being that we are in DFW, it is possible there might be Ebola patients at his hospital in the future. What are the protocols at his hospital? Will he be caring for said patients? I don't know the answers to these questions and so many others. The protocols are evolving even as I write this.

Even if Glenn doesn't come into contact with Ebola patients somewhere in the world during this current outbreak of Ebola he is a doctor and, as such, it is his right and responsibility to care for those in need which does put him in dangerous situations at times and will do so in the future, especially since we desire to work overseas. It is not necessarily a safe career choice but it is what God has called us to and our safety is not necessarily His first priority.

Just as living here in Texas/ our house has been molding me and helping me pre-deal with issues that will be much bigger when I am living in a different culture, different climate, surrounded by people who speak a different language, etc., having these fears surface has been good for me. 

Do I have fear? Yes.

Can I trust that God is in control? Yes.

I've had a chance to try to work through my fears again and deal with the "what if?" question of losing my husband. I've come to the conclusion that, since my primary purpose here on earth is to glorify God, if He knows that the best way for me to bring Him glory is to have Glenn taken from me or some have some other dread ordeal happen then I accept His will for me and think that it is best. He is good and He does good.

We have two new favorite albums around here that play quite frequently that are having an impact on my thinking, and two songs in particular.

1. Send Me Out - the title cut on Gilbert Hovsepian's first album in English - it's great!

This song was written by the son of an Iranian pastor who was murdered for his faith. We got to hear him sing and picked up his CD at the VOM conference we went to in June.  I think knowing the story and it's source makes the songs even more powerful. We are called and we need to answer God's call, even when it is difficult. The need is great. This is a prayer of our heart:

Lord I plead with all my heart

Anoint my life set me apart

Deliver your power and liberty Lord send me

I cry out for the world to see

Your beauty and majesty

Bringing nations to their knees Lord send me

Send me out to the world I will go and make you known

Send me out Here I am I will go

Every nation every tribe

Every tongue from every side

Every soul needs Jesus Lord send me

Move and stretch your mighty hand

By your spirit sweep our land

Use me as your instrument Lord send me

Preach the good news to the meek

Be his voice, his hands and feet

Bring release to prisoners

By his power heal the sick.

2. Without You - for King and Country - one of my kids' favorite songs from one of their favorite artists - Caleb pre-ordered their new album with his birthday money because he loves them so much and it has been playing in our house almost contantly.

When I first heard this song I thought of Amber and how she must have felt as Kent was in the battle with Ebola and how not only were his "strong arms too weak to hold her" he couldn't hold her and she couldn't "dance a little" with him because he was contagious. The joy at seeing them together holding hands on the news will never, ever grow old for me.

Lately, as I have heard it I have been selfishly thinking of myself. Hearing this album over and over it's been stuck in my head and I thought it said, "I don't want to live without you. I'm not willing to live without you." I've battled with that because Glenn is not mine forever. He is just on temporary loan to me. We aren't promised tomorrow. If it is God's will I need to be willing to live without him because that may be part of God's plan for His glory as it was for the families of Martin Burnham, those missionaries in Ecuador, so many others throughout history and so many over this past several months on the other side of the world.

When I actually looked up the words I was comforted because they actually say, "I don't want to live without you. I'm not ready to live without you." That, my friends, is true. 

I don't know that anyone is truly ready to live without their spouse but I know that, if it is God's plan He will be with me and He will give me the grace I need in that trial to behave as His child and make that trial a blessing, teaching me lessons He wants me to learn. He is good and does good, even if, at the moment, it looks awful. I need to keep my eyes on Him and not borrow tomorrow's trouble that may or may not come tomorrow. There is a 50/50 chance I'll go first.

When Glenn gets off tonight he doesn't have to go back in for a week - hurray for PTO! We are planning on getting away for a bit as a family and I'm looking forward to it. We'll enjoy our God, each other, God's creation, time in prayer, and our time together because we aren't promised tomorrow we need to be faithful today with the time we do have.

So let's dance a little

Laugh a little

And hope a little more
Cause I don't want to live without you, without you. 

And this good advice posted on my fridge from a great book based on The Great Book is what I'm practicing:

To quote a friend of mine: "The name of Jesus is greater than Ebola." 
I can trust Him. 
I do not need to live in fear.

Five Minute Friday: Willing

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Willing... What am I willing to do?

What does willing mean?

Is it me using my force to accomplish something with my strong will?

Is it my response when someone asks me to do something? "Are you willing to do XYZ?" "Yes, I am willing." "No, I am not willing."

More often than not in my mind the word "willing" goes along with the word "Lord". "We will be coming to visit you, Lord willing." "We will be here for residency for 3-4 years, Lord willing." "We will be serving overseas someday, Lord willing."

I remember a sermon when we were in the middle of the craziness of trying to find a place to live at the beginning of med school and how grateful I was 24 hours later that we had heard it. We were challenged to not say "I am going to do this or that." But rather to say, "Lord willing we are going to do this or that." and remember that our good God was in control even when circumstances that we didn't plan and we don't understand come our way.

Like the rich man who'd built his barns confident that he had plenty for many years to come so he'd take it easy, eat, drink, and be merry, we don't know what tomorrow holds.

I am so thankful that I know Who holds tomorrow. What He wills is so much better than what I will. He's already there and I can trust Him.

STOP

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." James 4:13-15

Linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five Minute Friday.

Five Minute Friday: Write

I do not write enough. It is not because there is nothing to write about. It is not because I do not need to write. I do. There is so much to write about. I have so many things running around in my mind, so many things that have happened that I want to remember, want to share, or really need to process and I process best through writing.

There are also so many great things that God has done. So many things that He has provided. So many neat opportunities we have had. So many trials that we have lived through. So many blessings that we have had. So many things that God is teaching me that I would love to share.

I just haven't taken the time to write. I could list tons of excuses but I won't. It is something that I haven't prioritized but I need to work it into my time budget because it is important to me and I need to make time for what is important to me. Today I added "Spend 15 minutes writing" to my "dailies" on HabitRPG. (It's growing on me. My family is currently battling a dragon and if I don't do my part by doing all my "dailies" the dragon "kills" me and it hurts our party.) You may not see much of a difference here on my blog but I am going to start writing because I need to.

STOP

Linking up with Lisa Jo for Five Minute Friday. Join me?

Five Minute Friday: Tree

About 4 years ago I drove to the grocery store quick to pick up some food after Glenn got home from school and the kids were put to bed. On the way there I noticed a big Christmas tree box on the side of the road a few blocks away. When I got home I told Glenn about it and asked him if he wanted to go check it out with me. We went and grabbed it figuring we could put in on our curb if it didn't work. It was a 7.5 foot prelit tree that was in great condition except the prelit part didn't work. That was OK with us. We had lights. We had thought about buying a tree after Christmas that year when they went on clearance but God gave us one before Christmas for free (very helpful on a medical student outgo).

 The previous Christmas we had covered a pile of boxes we'd stacked in our living room to look like a tree with a green sheet and put lights on it. 

 It looked nice in the dark and it was fun to make. There wouldn't have been room in that little 600sq ft house for a 3D tree anyway.

The year before that we had to throw out our old hand me down fake tree from my aunt and uncle because it was all falling apart.

Every time I see advertisements for prelit trees I smile and thank God again for our tree. A friend wondered yesterday what to do with her tree that the prelits didn't work anymore. My suggestions: put your own lights on it or give it away and bless someone with it. I know our tree was a huge blessing to us through our med school years and it moved with us to TX so we'll get to use it again here.

Linking up with LisaJo for Five Minute Friday. 

Five Minute Friday: Grace

God's

Riches

At

Christ's 

Expense

That's what I have been given a lot of. Grace. So amazing. So free to me. So costly to the One who has given it to me. God has given me so much that I don't deserve.

3 things have come to mind with the word "grace." 5 Minutes doesn't give me much time but there they are:

1. The Youngest Pilgrim by J.G. Green. A great little book I found at the church library that we've read aloud in the past couple of weeks about a boy in Korea who meets Jesus through his visits with the shopkeeper who owns the corner store. The first Christian song he heard was "Amazing Grace" and it made a great impact throughout his life. I loved hearing my kids sing it whenever it was mentioned in the story.

2. A woman named Grace that I am so grateful for. She has been a kind of mother figure to me (and Glenn and my brother). When I was growing up her family would faithfully visit my dad whenever he was in the hospital for some complication with his diabetes (which was often!) on Sunday afternoons. It didn't matter which hospital it was they would make their way there on Sunday afternoons and spend time with us. Almost every Sunday of the year and a half that mom lived in the nursing home they were there. Loving us, encouraging us, making us laugh. I really don't know what we would have done without her dear family over the years. They have the dearest servant hearts of any people I have ever met. Always giving, always loving, always serving, always caring. I am so grateful for the grace God has given me in Grace.

3. The grace that God has given me in parenting. I am far from a perfect parent but God's grace is producing some amazing kids that I have the privilege of living life with. They challenge me with their faith and their questions. They cause me to grow and to be more and more grateful for the grace that God gives me on a moment by moment basis as my Father.

Grace, grace, God's grace. 

Grace that will pardon and cleanse within. 

Grace, grace, God's grace. 

Grace that is greater than all my sin.

Five Minute Friday: Write

Yesterday as I was scanning my email I saw a blog post something about 31 days of something. I thought to myself, "Someone else was doing a 31 days of something else. Huh. That's interesting." A few minutes later I realized: Oh, it's October! Nester does a blog for 31 days challenge in October. Last year I did 31 days of flashbacks. When our computer was stolen in June I was so thankful I had done that because it gave me at least a few of the pictures of the last year that I'd lost.

My next thought was, "I am no longer a blogger since I'm not doing that challenge." Last year when I was doing that blogging challenge I thought "Next year we'll be all settled into residency life being normal people who live on a paycheck and I'll have my world all straightened out and I'll pre-plan and make a great 31 days of something blog series."

Um. That didn't happen. Glenn starting residency and me homeschooling older kids and volunteering has thrown me for a loop this year and I just haven't blogged like I've wanted to. I miss blogging. There are scads of started blog posts on my phone that I've jotted ideas down and started but never finished, often covering me with guilt and regret.

Today when I saw the writing prompt was "write" I felt like it was a message from God for me. No, I'll never be a perfect blogger (there probably isn't such a thing) but I still need to write. I have no challenging, meaningful, life changing 31 day series with a cute button but I'll still try to blog more this month. I may never be "one of those bloggers" with the cute blogs and buttons but God says that's Ok. I just need to be obedient to Him and be what He's called me to be: child of the King, wife of an FM intern, homeschooling mom to 4 great kids - me. For this season that is enough.

PS- Yes, I wrote this on my phone and, emailing it to my blog, my signature came with it including my favorite quote. I needed to read it again (when do I not) and thought it might bless some other reader as well:

In time of trouble, say, "First, he brought me here. It is by his will I am in this strait place; in that I will rest." Next, "He will keep me here in his love, and give me grace in this trial to behave as his child." Then say, "He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me lessons he intends me to learn, and working in me the grace he means to bestow." And last, say, "In his good time he can bring me out again. How and when, he knows." Therefore, say, "I am here (1) by God's appointment, (2) in his keeping, (3) under his training, (4) for his time." ~Andrew Murray.

Linking up with Lisa Jo for Five Minute Friday. Join me?

 

Five Minute Friday: Broken

START:

Often when I am in the kids' rooms I pick up broken bits of toys or papers and throw them away. Broken things are useless. For some reason my kids often still want to keep them so I often cull them when they are not looking.

When I was in 5th grade I broke my right arm. After that point for a while my arm was useless. My piano teacher had to play the right hand of my piece at the year end recital and I had to sit on a bench when all of my friends got to play on the newly built playground for gym and at the end of the day at school. I can't remember what I had to do for school work but it was the end of the year so I imagine we didn't have much of that. My broken arm rendered me useless in ways.

In my eyes broken things are useless. They are not in God's eyes. In God's eyes broken things are some of the most useful. I'm reminded of a quote from Elisabeth Eliot that I once read in my mom's Bible, "If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad."

That lunch would have only fed one young boy. When it was handed to Jesus and He broke it it fed a multitude. My life has been broken many times. I have wondered, "Why?" and "What are You doing?" It hurts. It's not easy. BUT GOD... my 2 favorite words in scripture. My two favorite words in my life. But God makes beauty out of my broken pieces. He helps people because I have been broken.

I can trust Him when He allows me to be broken knowing that He is going to use it for His glory. I praise Him for breaking me because I have learned so much in the process. He is conforming my broken pieces into His image so that He can use my life to glorify Him.

STOP

Linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five Minute Friday. Join me?

Five Minute Friday: Belong

It is hard to feel like you belong when you move a lot. It's lonely.

The other day when I was working in the kitchen I was thinking of the theme song from "Cheers." It says something about "Sometimes you  just want to be where everybody knows your name and they're always glad you came."

It takes a while to get there. When you move to a new place, a new state no one knows your name. No one cares if you came or not.

I think that is why we ended up at the church that we are going to. We first went there for a marriage conference back in April. Since we were new to the area and didn't know what to do with our kids we got special permission to put them in the child care for church members. When we went there for an actual church service a week later we heard, "The Maases are here!" shouted from across the room by the associate children's minister. It felt so good to hear that, especially for the kids. (OK, you're right, especially for their momma.) We had been in transition and so hadn't really had a place to call home since mid-January (or early November depending on how you figure it). It sure felt good to have someone who knew our name and who was glad that we came so we kept coming back. (Thanks Phillip)

I need to create that sense of belonging in people. I know that there are lonely people all around me who feel like they don't belong, like they don't fit in. I need to look at them and open my heart and my home to them. I need to be Jesus to them. He knows our names. He is always glad we came.

STOP

OK... now that you've read my 5 minute post on "Belong" click here to stop over at Lisa Jo's to read Ann's. Now. It is so good!

Linking up for Five Minute Friday. Will you join me?

Five Minute Friday: Beautiful

START

I've never really thought of myself as beautiful. Actually, I probably did. When I was a child there used to be a big round mirror above the kitchen sink that I'm sure my mom would use to check how she looked on the way out the door. At some point after I started doing dishes she took it down because I would take too long doing dishes because I was always looking at myself.

Being a typical American overweight teen I had a really bad self image in my junior high, high school and college days that hasn't necessarily improved that much in the years since. My husband often tells me how beautiful I am but I usually just tell myself that love is blind because I know better and I've looked in the mirror.

I was convicted of that thought pattern this week when I read a blog post a friend re-posted on facebook. My daughters are told often that they look just like me. If I tell them that I am ugly and fat what does that tell them about themselves? What does it imply how I view them?

I want to have God's perspective on me. He says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and His works are wonderful. (Psalm 139:14) There was an old poster in our hallway growing up that said "God don't make no junk." It's true. He made me the way that He made me on purpose.

I know, with some work, I can do some things to improve how I look on the outside but that isn't what really matters. "But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God." (1Peter3:4 AMP) That's the kind of beauty I want. I long to be beautiful in God's eyes.

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Late again but writing for 5 on a Saturday. Join me?

Five Minute Friday: In Between

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We have spent a lot of our life in between. Time in between engagement and marriage, in between the births of each of our children. In between living in one location and setting up a new life in new locations.

Right now we are in between having preschoolers and having teenagers. I love this stage of parenting... everyone is independant, can come up with their own creative things to keep them occupied but they haven't started the busy schedule that is being a teen in this country.

We are also on our LAST WEEKEND of our time in between medical school and residency. Yes, Glenn started orientation a little over 2 weeks ago but he doesn't start on the floors until Monday (6:45am in surgery if you are curious, not as early as I thought he might have to be there for his first day in surgery, maybe they're starting off early). I have loved this in between time. We have made so many fun family memories. We have had so much time with Glenn. It has been great. Sure we didn't get as much school work done as we maybe should have but we had time and experiences together that were priceless - worth much more than "school."

I'm thankful for our in between times. They haven't always been easy but God teaches us a lot in our times of transition. Each stage in our lives has been part of our training for what God has next for us. His schooling isn't always easy but He is always good.

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Linking up with Gypsy Mama's Five Minute Friday. Join me?

Five Minute Friday: Friend

Glenn's grandpa complained to me recently that I haven't posted in a long time so I looked at my computer and discovered 2 posts that I wrote but neglected to publish from sometime in the past... here is one.

from 4/26/13

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I'm new here. Being new here is kind of lonely. I have a friend here. I met her back in November at the GMHC. She doesn't live in Fort Worth. She lives in Dallas. She and her family have let us crash at her house for most of this month while we have been looking for a place to live in Fort Worth. She's moving. To India. In early June.

I am so grateful for Melissa and Cristo and their generous hospitality. I'm thankful for my first friends in the DFW area. I hope that we can go to visit them in India sometime during our second year of residency when they are at their hospital and done with language school and I'm glad that we will still be here when they come back for their first furlough. I hope that we can imitate them in many of their choices that they made through residency and beyond. Their faith and the example of their faithfulness to following God's call on their lives is a great challenge and encouragement to us.

So, I'm moving into a house in Fort Worth on Tuesday. Lord willing we will make friends. I have 

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