I've never really thought of myself as beautiful. Actually, I probably did. When I was a child there used to be a big round mirror above the kitchen sink that I'm sure my mom would use to check how she looked on the way out the door. At some point after I started doing dishes she took it down because I would take too long doing dishes because I was always looking at myself.
Being a typical American overweight teen I had a really bad self image in my junior high, high school and college days that hasn't necessarily improved that much in the years since. My husband often tells me how beautiful I am but I usually just tell myself that love is blind because I know better and I've looked in the mirror.
I was convicted of that thought pattern this week when I read a blog post a friend re-posted on facebook. My daughters are told often that they look just like me. If I tell them that I am ugly and fat what does that tell them about themselves? What does it imply how I view them?
I want to have God's perspective on me. He says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and His works are wonderful. (Psalm 139:14) There was an old poster in our hallway growing up that said "God don't make no junk." It's true. He made me the way that He made me on purpose.
I know, with some work, I can do some things to improve how I look on the outside but that isn't what really matters. "But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God." (1Peter3:4 AMP) That's the kind of beauty I want. I long to be beautiful in God's eyes.
Late again but writing for 5 on a Saturday. Join me?