I've had some external motivation in my dragon slaying for the past week. Since last Monday Glenn has had to be at the schospital by about 5:15am everyday except for yesterday and I have been his ride. It has been great! I have loved getting up and taking him over there then coming home, reading my Bible, spending some time exercising while listening to podcasts, before showering. I have loved it.
For the past 4 weeks I have been a part of the Maximize your Mornings Challenge and last week was the first week that I was actually successful. Why is that? I had external motivation.
The problem is... Glenn won't have to be at the hospital at 5:15 forever (for some reason he doesn't see this as a problem). In fact, the last day that he has to be there that early is Thursday for this rotation. After that I need some kind of internal motivation. You see, when there was no external motivation (yesterday morning) I did not get up and maximize my morning. I fed myself lies with all the reasons why I deserved to sleep in yesterday but in reality I was just lazy.
I am not a "morning person" but I want to be and have been trying to make myself into one for much of my life as a mom. I have seen the rewards of getting up. I know how much better everything goes when I have my priorities in line and have spent time with my God before I face my kids BUT.... I battle in myself. I feel like Paul in Romans 7 "For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing."
So... what am I going to do? I need internal motivation. It can only come from Him and from me dying to myself. This is what I long for.
Lord, please help me to live out my priorities by giving You first place and getting up in the morning even when I don't have an external motivation. Lord, I know that this past week You have blessed me for putting You first. Please help me to keep getting up even when I don't "need to" because ultimately I do.