Thursday, February 07, 2013

10 Years...

Tonight, as I wrote the date down for "thank Yous," I was struck by the thought, "It's February 7." My mom's favorite number was 7 so my dad said that is why she held on until the wee hours of the 7th of February to pass from this life to the next.

10 years? Can it really be that long?? As I wrote the date a tear trickled down my cheek. A decade in glory with our Savior? I'm jealous, Mom. My dear mother-in-love came over and gave me a hug. Lydia asked me, "Momma, what's wrong?" "Nothing is wrong, sweetheart, it's just February 7th." Abigail sat on my lap and asked me, "How old was Lydia when Grandma died, mommy?" "Lydia wasn't born yet, honey. I wasn't even pregnant for her."

10 years is a long time. I've had 2 more babies. I've moved more times than I really feel like counting (probably 15 but I'm not going to take the time to count right now). I've walked with my husband as he's gone through 2 more years of college, years of waiting, and almost 4 years of medical school. We've been abundantly blessed and had many difficult challenges that I would have loved to have my mom to talk to about but that wasn't God's plan and He is good and has proven Himself faithful. He loves to listen to me.

Over these 10 years I've also had many friends lose their moms. I've been able to identify in some small way and pray for them like I never would have had I not lost mine first. For the privilege of sharing and walking with them in their sufferings I am grateful.

Today we are down to 36 days in our countdown to The Match, when we find out where we will land next. Reading Psalm 36 always reminds me of my mom playing the guitar. I wish I could find the '70s or early '80s worship song that she would sing with her guitar based on verses 5-9 but Third Day wrote a song on those verses too and so google is no help to me tonight. Instead I'll just post the verses and change the words slightly in my head as I listen in my memory to her sing along.
Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens,
    your faithfulness to the skies.
Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
    your justice like the great deep.
    You, Lord, preserve both people and animals. 
 How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!
    People take refuge in the shadow of your wings. 
 They feast on the abundance of your house;
    you give them drink from your river of delights. 
 For with you is the fountain of life;
    in your light we see light. Psalm 36:5-9
 I'm so thankful for His love, for His faithfulness, for His righteousness, for His justice. I'm thankful that I can take refuge in the shelter of His wings and for the abundance that He always supplies us with. I'm thankful that God gave me my mom for as long as He did and for the great memories and heritage that He has given me from her. I have chosen to look through the lens of God's goodness and He has always proven Himself to be good.

Happy 10 years with Jesus, Mom! I rejoice with you.

Thanks, God, for being there for me through these ten years and for how You have used my pain for Your glory. I love You. Please help me to steward this gift You have entrusted to me for Your glory.

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