Monday, December 29, 2008

Expectations

I haven't blogged again in a while. I have lots of stuff to blog about but I just haven't sat down to type in a while. So, instead of coming up with something original tonight I just thought I would copy and paste an email I sent out to the girls in my small group a few days ago. It tells a little about what is going on in my life right now. I will blog more, with pictures from ummmm, let's see... Abigail's birthday up to Christmas, etc soon, just not tonight. But until then, here's that email:

Guess what... that verse I was telling you about my expectations being from God alone is in the Bible and guess what? it is from Psalm 62 (ever heard of that one? ) [Psalm 62 was the song of the month in November at church] in the NKJV it says "My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him." So..... how did you do on Christmas with your expectations being on God alone? huh? I have been praying for all of you. Please reply with your report on your Christmas and how you did.

here is my report: We had a pretty good Christmas. The kids were thrilled with all of their gifts and had a really fun morning. It was fun to watch them this week as they were not only excited about the gifts that they were going to be getting but they were also very excited about the gifts that they were going to give each other and to see their siblings' reactions. Glenn and I don't usually buy each other gifts. Over the years we have both been hurt by the reactions from gifts that we have bought that were not well received so it has just been easier to not get gifts than to get hurt. I wasn't expected to get anything for Christmas and wasn't disappointed so that was good.

BUT... I have had a horrible attitude lately and have allowed myself to wallow in depression and have justified it by the fact that I have no parents and I have no idea what my future holds and that I am just a messie, etc. I was convicted of that this morning in my quiet time. I should have been convicted of it 3 days ago but of course I have been neglecting my time in my Bible because I would rather wallow than do something about it. Last night God told me to get out my Creative Counterpart book and start reading it again.... ouch! Then this morning in 1Tim 4:16 I read "Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching, persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you." I have not been paying attention to myself or persevering. I have been holding to my "Woe is me" attitude and that is not right. Please pray that I will find my hope (what my Bible say for expectations) in God alone and ask me how I am doing about it.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Sonja. I too, like you, often have that "Woe is me" attitude. Especially when I see others with their mothers, I think about feeling sorry for myself for not having a mother. It seems to happen about once a month, that I just need to curl up in bed and cry for a little to get through my "sad time". But I know that I have so much -- great husband, wonderful kids, home, food, etc. But often still end up feeling bad for myself. WHY? Anyways, I don't know that I have anything more to say except "I know how you feel". I enjoy reading your posts; I think you have much wisdom. You are a great mom and I love that your family seems to not deal with the materialism that so many around us do. Thank you for your insights and for being a role model. Love to you! Happy New Year!

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