Waiting on Good Friday

 Around the same time the lady I've been following for years for her scripture writing plans announced that she was no longer going to post any new scripture writing plans I heard Jon Acuff mention on his podcast a goal he had to write out the book of Matthew. I thought that sounded like an invitation, a next right step for me, so I got a new notebook out and started writing out the book of Matthew in French a few verses a day at the beginning of the year. It's been so neat to sit for a while every day and ponder a bit of Matthew's biography of Jesus. It's been interesting to notice what he did and did not include. As I write it out in French not only am I practicing my French spelling, vocabulary, conjugation and punctuation I am gaining different insights into familiar scriptures because reading it in French has put some things in a different light for me.

The Sunday before Palm Sunday as I sat down to do my scripture writing I realized I was to Matthew 21, "Jésus entre à Jérusalem," and I got excited. Maybe, if I increased the number of verses I wrote every day, I would be able to write about the resurrection of Jesus on Easter, just two weeks away. As I flipped ahead the task seemed daunting. Jesus had a lot to say that last week of His life. It was going to take some extra time and quite a bit of red ink but I was excited to jump into it though not hopeful I'd actually be able to do it. It's been so encouraging and challenging to see His heart for people through His stories, His warnings, His interactions with others and all of the woes ("quel malheur pour vous..."). His harshest words were for the religious leaders.

Wednesday I got to Matthew 26 and I was excited and surprised. I was caught up in the Holy Week timeline! I wrote about the religious leaders' plot to kill Him, the woman pouring perfume on Jesus' head to prepare His body for burial and Judas's meeting with the chief priests to get 30 pièces d'argent to hand Him over.

Yesterday I wrote about Jesus's last meal with His friends, listened to Him tell His friends about how He knew one would betray Him, the rest of them would scatter and deny Him and His promise of resurrection and reunion with them. I watched Him wrestling in prayer in the garden, His surrender to the will of the Father, while His friends were unable to stay awake and watch and pray with Him. 

Today was a lot. I knew it would be. Jesus arrested, betrayed by His friend. I imagined the look of love and compassion and sorrow in His eyes as He said, «Mon ami, fais ce que tu dois faire.» "Mon ami," oh, how incredible that He still calls Judas friend. Jesus reprimands His disciple for defending Him with a sword, telling him He didn't need his defense. If He wanted He could have more than a dozen armies of angels to rescue Him right now. Then He turns to the religious leaders asking why they needed to come under the cover of darkness with swords and clubs when He was so often out in the open at the temple, easy to catch. After that I hardly use my red pen at all as He says very little as He's dragged between trials. He doesn't defend Himself. Lies, condemnations, mockery. He says nothing but «C'est toi qui le dis» in His trials and then He is hung on the cross and the mocking continues. At noon it is dark out until 3 in the afternoon and I stopped writing. 

I'm waiting. I wanted to keep writing. I wanted to get to Jesus's death. To His resurrection. But He hung on that cross for a long time so I am waiting until 3, until He speaks again just before He dies and is buried. Tomorrow I'll write of the worried religious officials begging Pilate to put a guard in front of the tomb. Then Sunday I will get to write about the empty tomb and the women who worship Him and to whom He says, «N'ayez pas peur.» Then I'll wonder at the conspiracy contrived by the religious leaders and the authority and commission His followers have been given to «Allez chez tous les peuples pour que les gens deviennent les disciples. Baptisez-les au nom du Père, du Fils et de l'Esprit Saint. Apprenez-leur à obéir à tous les commandements que je vous ai donnes.» and rejoice at the reminder that: «Et moi, je suis avec vous tous les jours, jusqu'à la fin du monde.»

I couldn't have planned it this way. Two weeks ago I was overwhelmed by the thought of all that writing but it has been such a huge blessing to me and I have grown to love my Savior more walking through the last week of His life with Him over the last two weeks. I'm so thankful for His love for me and for His sacrifice and His invitation into a forever relationship with Him.