Monday, September 30, 2013

We got our second choice and I am so grateful

A new residency interview season is upon us. Last night we got to go out to eat for a 'dinner with residents.' This time we were part of the residents representing a program instead of the ones being interviewed. (No, I'm not a resident and, no, I was never actually interviewed but in the whole two becoming one part of marriage I've always thought of it as "where we got into medical school," "where we were applying for residency," "where we were going to match/ matched." Glenn's the one that the programs were deciding on but when you get Glenn you get all 6 of us. We are a team. We're a package deal.) It was interesting to learn about the applicants and it was fun that one of the residents who came for our 'dinner with residents' last year was there with us again.

Coming home last night there was a lot of reflecting going on in our van. There are good things and bad things about all the programs we applied to. There are no perfect programs because they are made up of people and there are no perfect people.

We didn't get our first choice in the match. I am grateful now.  March 15th I wasn't. (There are funny pictures, lost forever because of the break in that show on our faces that that is true.) At the beginning of the interview season last year we were told by a resident at what ended up being first on our rank list that ultimately how we arrange our rank order list didn't really matter. God was ultimately in control and would put us in the place He knew was best for us because all He needed to do was tweak a computer program a little bit which, in my mind, is so much easier than tweaking a stubborn human. He said that on Match Day you may feel a bit foolish and like you weren't really listening if you got the last choice on your list but you would still be where God wanted you.

Throughout the interview season we were comforted at the knowledge that, ultimately, we were not in control. We prayed and discussed our options countless times always trying to hold them in an open hand, lifting them up to God and telling Him, "You pick. You know where we will get the best training for what You have for us. You know where You want to use us for our years of residency. You know where would be best for our kids to spend these critical years of their lives. You pick." Sometimes I would see something in one of our options and think, "Oh, I really don't want to go there because of that" or "Oh, I really hope we end up there because of this" but would always come back to: "God, You are in control. I want what You want because I know that is best."

His choice was for us to move to Fort Worth. It wasn't my choice but, just like "not my choice" Houghton and Lowville before it, I know that God knows best and He will make our time here full of priceless memories and will use us and challenge us and grow us in ways He could only do here for this season of our lives.

On our way home last night we discussed once again about how grateful we are that we got our "second choice." We are grateful because we know that God didn't put us here because we asked Him to but because He wanted us here. We probably would have been happy at our first choice but when struggles came we might have wondered, "Are we here because we put it first? Is this really where God wanted us?" Instead we are certain: we didn't put this first so we know that this is where God wants us.

We are currently on question 11: "What is God's providence? A: God's providence is His completely holy, wise and powerful preserving and governing every creature and every action." Over and over as we've read parts of Esther as a family I have thanked God for His providence in our lives. He has allowed so many things that I never would have asked for and not allowed so many things that I would have loved to have had at the time. Sometimes He has given me a window to see what He was doing after a while. For many of the circumstances that He has allowed I may never know the why. Always, always I am certain that He is good and does good. Therefore I know that He is good and did good in allowing us to move to Fort Worth 'for such a time as this.'

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